IMAGO COUNSELING

“Conflict is growth trying to happen.” - Maya Kollman Relationships are supposed to get hard! We’re supposed to fall out of those in-love feelings! When we fall in love, it feels like we are finally whole. Everything is exciting, sexy, safe and nurturing. We feel like we can’t imagine life without this person. They awaken parts of ourselves we forgot existed. Our brain produces all the right drugs to create a deep, irresistible bond with a person, and it does this for good reason - for the unconscious agenda of our psyche to heal the unmet needs of our childhood, and move towards wholeness again! When the relationship becomes serious, whether it’s moving in together, getting married, making it official, having kids, etc., the brain says, ‘Aha! Commitment! Now the real work can begin!’ The endorphins start wearing off and we’re often surprised and disappointed to find this magical human before us is not as caring, attentive, easy-going, adventurous, or reliable as they were before. Rather, we start to feel that if they were caring before, they become withdrawn, attentiveness becomes feeling distant, easy-going becomes difficult, adventurous becomes irresponsible, reliable becomes unreliable… The list goes on. The unmet needs of our childhood start to reflect in our partner. If you felt invisible as a child you may find your partner spends so much time at work and is too busy for you. If you had so much freedom as a child and little direction, you may feel like your partner is smothering you. It’s all connected. You will find the perfect match who gives you all the right opportunities to heal the past and move towards wholeness again. The thing is, none of us were taught how to communicate and meet our needs in relationships in healthy ways. We’ve been taught by society to compromise, which really means one partner must sacrifice their needs to meet those of the other. We’ve been told in relationships to be less emotional, or less outgoing, less irresponsible and more rational, more reliable, more mature etc. We demand that our partners become less of the thing we need to reconnect with within ourselves that was suppressed in the past. If it’s hard, if it feels that nothing changes, if you feel alone, misunderstood, desperate, exhausted… you’re in a space where your unconscious is trying to heal and become whole again, and we do this in connection with our partner. I repeat; your partner will give you all the right opportunities to move towards wholeness again. It’s about having the right tools to work with the agenda of your subconscious so as to heal, grow, connect, and create safety. If you keep trying the same things to work through your struggles, you get the same results. Perhaps you've tried and are feeling frustrated with talk-based therapies that take turns talking around the problem but deeper healing or lasting change hasn't been achieved. It’s time to shift this. Make dramatic change possible with this two-day intensive workshop.